Goodbye, 2019, you ruthless little bugger. You’ve been a year filled with a lot of lessons learnt the hard way. Lessons that came as the result of a lot of pain, grief, anxiety and isolation. Lessons I plan to take into 2020 to make it a better one.
I could write an entire book on what 2019 taught me, but I’ve narrowed it down to these four lessons.
There is no end date to grief
The notion that “moving on” from grief is something that happens with time is a myth. It has been a few months over two years since my mom passed away and the struggle is still very much real. I truly believe that loss is something so overwhelming that to simply “move on” after some time would be an insult to human life. I believe that you find ways to cope and to healthily process the pain, but moving on? No. Loss is not a break-up. Those that are yet to experience it need to realise this to relieve the pressure off of those that are suffering.
Patience is a virtue
That I am yet to acquire. I have always naturally been an impatient person and this non-stop busy world makes it a lot harder to practice patience. When it becomes the norm to expect everything right now its very difficult to allow time between moments. It almost feels forced and unnatural. But there are tools available to practice this skill. For me, meditation and yoga have been hugely beneficial, it’s just a practice I am going to have to put a lot of effort into.
Letting go is hard
I have always been a very family-oriented person that enjoyed family gatherings, and growing up, Christmas time was always packed with wonderful parties and traditions. My mother absolutely thrived during the festive season, it was her favourite time of the year, as it was mine. So having to let go of what I have always known and become used to things being completely different this year, and how different it will be for every Christmas to come has been very, very difficult for me, but very eye-opening too and a necessary lesson to learn.
The comfort zone is a danger zone in disguise
After all the chaos ensued during the back-end of this decade, all I wanted to do was rest. A lot of this year was spent in a daze of exhaustion and pain, so naturally I have been yearning for space and time to heal.
But at the same time, I am living in a new city in a new country. And that can be a very lonely place to be. And the only person that can change that is me. Friends aren’t just going to come knocking on my door, I have to get out there and find them, thus leaving my comfort zone that I so yearned for. And finding the balance between the two has proven to be difficult. This is my project for next year.
I know I am not alone in my struggles. I know I am not the only one who has taken a beating in 2019. To my fellow warriors, I salute you and I wish you a truly magical 2020. You, yes you reading this, you deserve it.